Today - February 12, 2009

For those of you not on facebook, below is a note that I posted today:

Hello, fb friends! Thank you to my two dear friends, Lu and Jenn, who updated my status twice today. (I don't have internet on my cell phone, and I didn't have the text number to update my status.) Because of that, so many of you have reached out with prayers and good wishes for me, my grandmother and my mother. Thank you so very much! One really doesn't know how valuable a tool this is (even though I do love it!) until something like this happens. Actually, fb took on another meaning today. (I'm telling you - I could be the fb poster child!)

Here's a brief update - at 835am today, I received a phone call from my mother that my grandmother had had a stroke during the night and was unresponsive. In less than 20 minutes, I was packed and in the car. I endured the 4 hour drive by using the cell phone to connect with my mom, family and friends.I arrived in Demopolis around noon central time.

Growing up in a small town has its privileges, as upon walking into the hospital and up to the room, I was greeted by so many people who knew why I had come to town. Anyway, I entered my grandmother's room, and she appeared to just be sleeping. I sat alongside her and grabbed her hand, and announced my arrival, and she squeezed my hand. This surprised me! I asked her if she did that on purpose if she could do it again - which she did! Well, that appears to be a good sign, but at the same time a sad one, because that means she can hear me, but she could not speak nor open her eyes or anythiing else.

Since I said I would give you a brief update, I'll cut to the chase. Visitors have come and gone. To some she's opened her eyes. To others she's squeezed their hands. At one point, she finally was able to look me in the eyes. She has beautiful blue eyes! I could see the hurt in them. Right now, she and I are alone in the room, and there are more periods of her opening her eyes and looking into mine. There are no words that she can speak. That's sad to me. She lifts her head, she adjusts her covers or gown, she wipes back her hair, she grabs her now usless arm, or she keeps looking toward something and wanting something, and I cannot oblige because I do not know what her desire is. It breaks my heart. However, I am most thankful that I could run out the door this morning to be by her side.

I don't know what God's plan is for her. I do feel like she will not be able to go back to live at my mother's unless there is some drastic change, and I do know that my God can do that, I just don't know if that's His plan. We're waiting.As I've been in the process of typing this, I have been trying to aid her apparentuncomfortableness. (a word?) All I can do is try. I see her frustration in her eyes, and all I can do is try. However, I have God's promises, and I have my friends who are all doing more than trying; you all are being my friends, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!